"I was twelve and you were my best friend. I talked to you under my covers because it was late and my parents had already told me to go to bed. It was the first time I stayed up past midnight talking to you, but it wouldn’t be the last. When I hung up, you called me back because you forgot to wish me sweet dreams.
I was fourteen and you were my friend’s older brother. I was crying because this was the first time I ever felt like my heart was completely cracked in two. You said that because my heart was broken, more love could be poured in than ever before. That one day, someone will spend every day trying to prove that they are good enough for me.
I was fifteen and you were the one I didn’t see coming. We were strangers, who became friends. The first time we fought was when I knew I was in too deep. We were friends, who ended up becoming strangers.
I was eighteen and you were a quick fix. I was damaged and you were too. There was skin and desperate touches and whispered Oh God, you make me feel so alives. On one particular day, we were lying side by side. You turned to me and traced pictures on my spine. I sighed and you kissed me on the forehead. I never told you, but in that moment I had never felt more naked.
I am nineteen and air continues to fill my lungs. I belong to no one but myself. I am living without the shackles of my sadness. My heart beats because I see beauty and wonder. I see myself in the mirror and I think, this is what it feels like to be in love."